ON ISLAND
Vineyard Havens
Giving Families with Cancer a Place to Be Themselves
By Tessa Permar
For families facing cancer, a weeklong vacation on Martha’s Vineyard is often the last thing on the priority list, but the team at Vineyard Havens understands how impactful a week like that can be. Vineyard Havens is a nonprofit that organizes week-long, all-expenses paid vacations for families facing cancer in the New England area. While these families spend the week relaxing in comfortable sunlit homes, trying island activities like fishing or sailing, and sampling fresh local food, they also get an opportunity to revisit themselves in spaces of leisure, exploration, and fun.
Founder Jeanne DeSanto knows firsthand how cancer can reshape day to day life for patients and families. In 2010 her son was diagnosed and began treatment for pediatric cancer. She experienced the ways the impact of cancer can ripple through the whole family, and she recognized how much folks going through it miss their “normal” life before cancer. For Jeanne, visits to Martha’s Vineyard were a big part of her family experience. In 2018 she established Vineyard Havens to share the unique experience of a Vineyard vacation with families with children facing cancer. The mission has grown to include families with adult patients as well, and this summer they are welcoming more than 20 families.
When families arrive on the ferryboat, Vineyard Havens gives them what they call “a gentle landing.” This includes a picnic dinner and a fridge stocked with light groceries, made possible by local businesses. They stay in homes that are either donated for the week or rented, usually at a reduced cost, and lay within a comfortable 20 minutes from MV Hospital in case any medical needs arise.
“There are so many ways to Vineyard,” shares Caitlin Burbidge, Program Director at Vineyard Havens, who taps into the huge range of activities the Vineyard offers. Some families enjoy family movie nights and leisurely meals in tranquil backyards. For those who are ready for adventure, there are fishing expeditions, catamaran cruises, beach trips, and more. Burbidge shares, “It’s about meeting patients and families exactly where they are. Some people are ready to get on a jet ski, other people are more into board games and keeping it chill.” She adds, “We have a program we call Island Dreams for every pediatric patient, which enables them to go out and try something a little bit exciting.” These special outings differ depending on the capacity and wants of each patient and can range from a dinner at a nice restaurant to a ride in a biplane.
One key part of a Vineyard Havens vacation is a private session with seasoned photographer Randi Baird. The photography session “becomes a big emotional touchpoint across the week for people,” says Burbidge. “It’s really poignant to take pictures with someone in your family while they’re experiencing cancer. It’s very much a place in time. Randi captures that beautifully and is able to hold space for our folks in a really healthy way.” Vineyard Havens works hard to center each family’s experience of their vacation and ensure they have a way to remember it.
Vineyard Havens receives referrals for families who might be a good fit from their partners at Mass General Hospital, the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, The Jimmy Fund, and the Ellie Fund, just to name a few. Patients who qualify must be medically stable, ambulatory and able to travel, and unable to afford a trip like this using their own financial resources. “A lot of people say that it feels like they hit the lottery,” says Caitlin. She acknowledges the immense web of support that comes from Vineyard communities and businesses, from gifts of food and professional services to folks who donate their entire homes for a week. Burbidge shares, “the generosity of Island folks has come through for us time and again.” Vineyard Havens is also working toward a way to offer a special version of this opportunity to local Island families who are facing cancer.
While a Vineyard vacation can sound like a light-hearted event–and it can be, it can also provide a deep experience of reflection and connection for families actively dealing with cancer. “Sometimes they arrive and reacquaint themselves with who they are going to be on vacation,” says Burbidge. “A lot of people end up facing or re-facing themselves whether they are the patient or the caregiver. Because they are trying to remember how to have fun.” It’s this process of revisiting play, immersion in nature, the chance to do nothing, the opportunity to try everything, a moment to reconnect with who you were before cancer, who you are now, and who you may be tomorrow that Vineyard Havens understands to be so precious. They are dedicated to sharing this experience with as many families as they can. After this summer season, they will have served over 700 people, including patients and their family members.
Vineyard Havens has grown from providing vacations to a few families to hosting 22 families this summer. And the experiences have only grown. “This year my parents are doing ‘clamming office hours’. Families who want to can learn how to do shellfishing, which we’ve done in my family for generations,” says Burbidge. “Each year we try to make it a little more Island-y.” She describes the impact of a visit to this beautiful and multifaceted island, “It’s really an opportunity for everybody to remember themselves separate from cancer.”
There are many ways to support Vineyard Havens, from donations to gifts of services and home rentals. To learn more visit VineyardHavens.org.